Tomorrow, bright and early, I head back to work. It's been 12 wonderful weeks and just as I expected, it's felt more like 12 days. I am going to miss my sweet pickle so much, I can't even describe it. I made sure, on this maternity leave, to take more time to snuggle than I did with Jack (don't worry, Jack was snuggled plenty too!). I learned with him that everything else can really wait, and that you only get those 12 weeks to really snuggle your tiny guy. So while I'm really glad I did that, it makes leaving him really hard.
In some ways, this time, it's easier too though. I trust our daycare providers completely. They have not only kept Jack safe for his 2.5 years there, but they've loved him and taught him so much, I can't imagine who he'd be without them. I'm excited for Max to share in that and get to know his family there too. I love Miss Gay, his teacher-to-be and I am excited for her to love on Max. Just a little story about Miss Gay that always makes me smile...or tear up actually, but in a good way. When Jack and I were laid off and he wasn't in school anymore, he and I went there to visit one day, just to say hi and to make sure if I did get a job one day, he'd have not forgotten the place. He was about a year old and in a very clingy stage. He didn't leave my arms for anyone. But...we walked into the Baby Birds room and Miss Gay smiled at him, and he smiled back at her and reached out his arms to her! I was so taken aback by it and commented that he never reached for anyone but me. She smiled at me,touched me on the shoulder and said "honey, they don't forget love." It made me tear up when she said it and it does every time I think about it. She's so right. It was so clear to me that Jack LOVED her and loved being there. There's nothing more reassuring than knowing how much your child loves the place he goes to spend his time without you. With Jack, it was such an odd thing, leaving your most precious gift in the hands of someone you'd barely met. Jack can now tell us how much he loves school and he is so excited for Max to go to school too! This time it feels a lot different, and I'm so thankful for that. But it won't make me miss him any less...
Max, I'll miss your sweet smiles and coos and your cheeks, so perfect for kissing, all the time! I'll miss our playtimes and having you by my side as we shopped, or caught up with friends or met Sammy and Ansley for coffee. I'll miss watching Ellen with you and dancing around the living room with you. I did this with Jack too and he still loves music! I'll miss the times we spent with Grams running around town while her elbow was broken. I'm so glad we had this time together and look forward to all the times to come. I know that work shortens our time together, but it also makes the times we are together sweeter. I work so we can afford to go and do fun things and show you the world. I'm glad I have a job to go back to and that you have a great school to welcome you. I'm especially grateful that we could afford for me to take this time off with you. There's no greater gift than time with your babies. I've watched you grow so much and we've battled so much together already. Three colds and a handful of nursing troubles that you were so patient with. I just can't wait to see what we'll do next! I hope you love school as much as your brother does. I love you sweet pickle. Thanks for being mine and for being so precious. Love, Momma
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